My fourteen day trip stared in Omaha and what a spoiler!  These are some of the nicest people on the planet: down to earth,  kind, lovely and of great humor.  We think it is the Buffet Effect.

My new friend and host, Shelley, drove me past his house on a main street in a NOT gated community. The last time she saw him was at the $1.00  movie theater. That"s my kind of guy!  THere are many lessons to be learned from Mr. B beyond the financial ones.

We all just need to lose our entitlement ego and get real! 

I used to hear my parents tell me to bite my tongue when I had said something they thought should not have been said. It merely meant to "think before you speak". Or "heaven forbid that happens."  As retro as that may sound, it's sound advice. We need to start "biting" our tongues or holding our thoughts more often. 

There are just some things that are better left unsaid. If a colleague buys a new car, there's no point in expressing a negative opinion of the make, style or color. It's a done deal.  That lesson applies to many instances where our opinion/feedback/shared thoughts are ex post facto.

I've written it and said it and it bears repeating:  "Don't tell me you're frank, unless that's your first name."  It recently happened that a colleague make a comment about something that was a done deal that I could not change.   The negative and unnecessary feedback shocked me. Remember, the question we all should ask ourselves before we "tell our truths":  What's the point?  If your colleague already bought the car, your sister bought and worn the dress, your friend has a new hair cut, unless you can say something nice, bite your tongue.  Me, too! It's a smart and kind personal touch.

I just spent 8 days in Portugal without phone service. Can you imagine???  Neither my cell phone nor my Treo (for constant access to email) worked. What an experiment!  And my MCI international calling card didn't work either.  This was a week of detox.  I had not one phone conversation except for calling the hotel's operator for wake up calls.

 Don't get me wrong. I tried to call my BFF from a public phone while visiting the famed Gulbenkian Museum and Art Collection ... five times. But the international operator was not successful nor was my calling card. I did break out in a cold sweat as befits those who are going cold turkey.

Fortunately, my lovely boutique hotel in Lisbon had a wonderful service that many of the big hotels offer as a "revenue stream". There was a small room off the lobby with two FREE computers and a printer for guests to use. (An aside: I never understand why bigger, luxury hotels don't get the message that the "pay up as you type" computers are not an amenity). I could stay in touch via email but not being able to talk to my friends or clients was a new experience. It only goes to show just how much the cell phone with its delivery of 24/7 continuous connection has changed our thinking, our expectations and our lives.

The good news: I lived to tell the tale. In fact, I lived quite nicely. There was more time to do, to see, to relax and to enjoy this beautiful country. The conversations that I might have had back home were replaced by visits to different museums, venues, sites and in cafes in lovely Lisbon  (Cascais and  Sintra) as well as conversations with 'strangers' from around the world. I met them on trams, in cafes, on tours and in the Lisbon synagogue on my New Year.  I tried my tourist Portuguese and with one woman from Brazil on my city tour of Lisbon... we used facial expressions and international signs and a bit of French.  It worked. 

There are many ways to communicate and many people who cross our paths with whom to speak who can enrich our experiences and lives. We can't do that when we have a cell phone in our hands or a Bluetooth hooked on our ears ignoring those in our presence. Yes, I was "in every moment" in the face to face world in Portugal. My lack of cell phone coverage allowed me to live the theme of my new book, Face to FAce: How To Reclaim the PERSONAL Touch in a Digital World.  And it was sublime. 

Or not.  Each airport has it's TSA personality. In Chicago, you don't have to take off your shoes if you have a chance to have your feet (with shoes) placed in an Xray machine.  Some machines pick up things that others don't. And many of the security systems are set off by cheap jewelry, flashy belts and even underwire bras. It's gotten to the point  that many frequent women travellers have taken to wear sportsbras for easy pass through.

In Lisbon, I set off the buzzers and somehow managed to explain to the woman frisking me that it was the underwire. Funny thing is that she understood through my "sign" language and smiled that knowing smile that most women who travel know.

But clearly the most thorough security system was at the synagogue in Lisboa on the Jewish New Year. Due to threats and possible attacks, there were 2 Lisbon municipal policemen on guard who acted as though they drew the short straws.  Far more interesting, were the two men who did security for the service. I hadn't received such a fifth degree in decades. BUT, these two men knew what questions to ask, were impenetrable and I watched them watch me as I answered. THEY LISTENED and OBserved for any oddity in my behavior. There were none so I finally got in.

Let's get these guys to train our TSA people in psychological communication and forget about the shoe removal forces of evil!

What an opportunity!  I didn't know that Cascais,the beautiful sea town and resort area existed until I was booked to speak there. Heavenly: the resort, the setting, the client (PA Consulting of the UK, a global firm), the people, the weather. I can´t recall enjoying an engagement as much. Through the usual RoAne method of eavesdropping... I learned that the other speaker was from Chicago when I heard his AMerican accent. Although he lived in London, he was from West RogersPark, went to Sullivan and lived 4 blocks from me.  Tellling the "you never know" story in my session, I mentioned I went to Mather High. An American partner shouted out that he did, too.  And he went to my grammar school as well and lived 3 blocks from my previous house. Of course, I'd be in Cascais Portugal to Meet some guys from my 'hood!

Was a bit lost earlier today... my first day in Lisbon and asked someone at the bus stop if she knew where to get tram 15. She did. We started to talk and she too is from Chicago. On the way back, I helped three young women from the Ukraine find the tram because we had seen each other at a museum. Tunabout is fair play and helping others feels so good.

And that is how the world really works when we talk to people in the face to face space!

I just returned from several days of speaking in the Midwest and, once again, was smitten with the down -to- earth, wholesomeness and very NICEness of the people.  We read about Contentious and Fierce Conversations, Dealing with Difficult People and a gazillion types of Dummies. But the simple truth is that if we want great customer service, we need to be great customers. Is there a magical or secret formula? NO! It's common sense and common courtesy.

Be NICE. Speak pleasantly to service and sales people. Forget being edgy, sarcastic or snarky.  In summation, if you want better service, be a better person.

I just talked to a sales associate at a major bookstore chain who told me she can't speak to customers. Trying to be helpful, I asked if she were shy as that is what I assumed she meant. No, she really meant she couldn't speak to customers who wanted her help as they are, more often or not, were on their cell phones... telling her to wait to help them... while they finish their comments to their phone friends.

 Have we lost our collective minds??? Apparently we have.  We need to reclaim our minds, our common courtesy and common sense. Then we will be assured of great customer service because we will have become great customers.

There is a beauty in referrals that cannot be underestimated. From the brilliant Breck Commercial of yesteryear that I first highlighted in The Secrets of Savvy Networking (And I TOLD TWO PEOPLE) to a friend's comment about a fabulous mechanic, graphic artist or restaurant to today's fake "friends/consumers" who are paid to talk up a product, we pay attention to who or what is recommended. A goal of social networking sites is to capture that "endorsement" but there is a glitch. You can end up endorsing someone you don't know who asks for an introduction to someone you do. This recently happened to me.

I received an email from someone who had been flooding my inbox with an exasperating amount of emails asking to join him as a "contact" on a business social networking site, The introduction was provided by a colleague whom I've known for many years, respect and like. I clicked on "I accept"... with a faint hint of trepidation. I then emailed my buddy and asked about my "new business contact" and how he knew him. The answer was, "I don't but he asked for an introduction to you." Really. My mistake is that I should have emailed my contact first. But this goes to the heart of what a real recommendation and referral has: heart, real connection,first-hand knowledge and familiarity. Can we fake that? We are sure trying.

Can social networking -where we ask people we don't know to refer, recommend, link us to people they do know- match the enthusiasm, knowledge and familiarity of real time referrals, recommendations and networking?

I'll take my answer on the air! Or online. susan@susanroane.com

Not many of us think that spending four hours "working" on a Saturday night is our idea of fun. Believe me, when I first placed a call to HP's customer service center, I thought I was in for many twenty-five minutes of my time. I had other plans for the rest of the night. But it was MY problem that needed to be solved. The computer whiz I hired reached an "off-shored" technician who was clueless and couldn't resolve the problem. Nor could the first two guys I talked to about the HP 6310 overriding my trusty old HPLaser 4L. Finally,after an hour the third guy brought in his mentor---the LEVEL TWO technician. She was patient,smart, persistent and her voice was lilting, lovely and confident.

Through glitch after glitch (not the least of it was my difficulty at reinserting ports, plugs and paraphanelia), she never lost her cool. She laughed when I said that I don't spend that much time on the phone with my friends. And she did again when I said that we had officially been on the phone for two and a half hours and that made her my new best friend. Finally at 11:15 pm, after 4 installations of software,this patient, smart and gifted technician who was beginning her work day on Sunday (there is a 12 hour time difference between India and California), solved the software glitch. I asked if she dealt with many irate customers and she had. But she understood their frustrations with a purchase that wasn't working. Lucky for me it was Ramya's day at the Help desk.

A four hour work night was not my idea of how to spend Saturday night, but I am thrilled I did. An aside, no matter how frustrated we customers get, yelling, cursing and insulting technicians (or anyone for that matter) does not solve problems. Remember that old saying about the flies and honey...it's right on the money.