You answer the phone knowing who it is and HOPING that Mr or Ms Help Me might be calling to say hello. After a few pleasantries that SEEM to lead to a real give and take conversation, your hopes are dashed when you hear the familiar, "I have a question..." You realize the call was never about staying in touch, checking in to hear how you are or to find out what's going on with you. As usual it's all about the caller who needs just one more bit of your feedback, information or insights for their benefit. Geez, what a disappointment... again. I know because I have a couple of those "friends" in my world. I call to touch base, check in, say hello. They always call with a self-serving agenda. They aren't BAD people and they could even be nice but in the clueless category.
My exasperation with one person who constantly called with "just a question" (always of brain picking proportions) reached my last "under the guise of networking" nerve. What I said was, "Of course, you have a question, you always do." How I said it was with inflection worthy of Woody Allen.
With hindsight, I've thought of a few answers for Mr or MS Help Me brain picker:
"Gee, I have no idea. Let me know when you find the answer."
"So how are you? Tell me what's going on in your life."
"I haven't heard from you in a while. Since we spoke I won a Noble Prize, lost my job, got married, broke my leg..." Fill them in as if they asked and were interested and avoid their question. Will they get your drift? Sadly, the obtuse self-serving rarely do. But that doesn't mean we stopped trying.
Smart networkers, good friends and the people we like best and WANT to refer leads to ... take the to touch base with us about US.
And how do you handle the Help Me Herd?
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