The News about Schmooze, Part 3

Everytime I get a google alert on "schmooze" I almost always am amused. The blogs that quote the definition from dictionary.com or some other source get the same reaction from me: why go to dictionary.com instead of The Joys of Yiddish??? That makes little sense. If you want to know what the word really means, go to the source. No one has captured the essense of Yiddish words and expressions quite like Leo Rosten's ground breaking and rib- tickling book.

Seeing the amount of schmooze awards, events, mentions on the web and in print is another source of "Now ain't that grand" smiles. When I first used the word in How To Work a Room, I HAD to define it. But now, it's known as Yinglish. I am sure there are many who use the term and have no clue it's Yiddish.

It has NOTHING to do with an exchange that has a business purpose. Schmooze is easy-going, heart-felt, relaxed conversation. Period. End of story. There is no intent, no goal, no agenda, no sales context no matter how many online sites and bloggers define it as such. The people who are the best at it are those who are friendly, and easy to talk to and they make us FEEL comfortable.

Of course, we go to Schmooze Fests in every part of the world and they are wonderful opportunities to meet new people with whom we could do business, recommend and even befriend. But schmooze is NOT networking, it's CONVERSING; exchanging ideas, thoughts, stories and laughter. Networking is the followup but not the essence of what conversation/schmooze is.

When I first wrote What DO I Say Next? I told my editor and my then-agent that the title was SCHMOOZE OR LOSE. That was 1997 and I was told that the title wouldn't work because "only people in New York, LA, and some cities in between knew the term." Yes, it's an understatement to say they were wrong!

I am glad to see that schmooze has increased our conversations and that more people are communicating. Have easy going, relaxed, chats and that will lead to people feeling comfortable with you so that many possibilities open up. Remember, that if you in a conversation where you have a goal, an agenda or a specific purpose, please don't call it "schmooze". Rosten and RoAne will be relieved!