It's NOT What You Say....

The old adage ends with "but how you say it". And that's true. We all know people who can say something with a tone or look that is a machete in the heart. Sarcasm often works that way. And there are others who can say things in such a way that the words don't hurt, offend or annoy and in fact, they delight. The best communicators, the people who develop rapport and are engaging, whom I referred to as Talk Targets, inherently understand the essence of interpersonal relations.

It's not what you say, but how people feel when you say it. Think about that for a moment. How we make people feel when we speak is the core of communication. There is/was (and I do hope for it being past tense) a school of ESTian philosophy that "we are responsible for what we feel." San Francisco was certainly one of the petri dishes of that movement. What it did is free its followers to say whatever....regardless of the impact of their words. Back in those days, my response was, "Let's see if I got this right. You can call me any combination of names, criticize my work and my height and if I get miffed, that's my problem??? Ya gotta be kidding!" BS DETECTOR Alert.....

A study on levels of leadership provided social research that indicated the opposite; and the findings are true today. The best leaders have solid adaptive skills and one of them is their awareness of their impact on others. And they act accordingly.

That's a lesson we can learn from the highest level of leadership both in our professional and personal lives --- whether we are bloggers, podcasters, texters, emailers or conversationalists. Being aware of the import and impact of our words on how others feel is crucial.

Crucial and KIND...quite the dynamic duo!

Comments

[Trina]

I agree--educators need to create a safe learning environment, but so too do business professionals, whether they are in an office, a hospital, or a dentist's office. Our job description as educators--or as any professional--is to communicate in such a way that our clients, students, or patients feel safe and trusting of us. Only then will people want to listen to our message.
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