To Sweat ---or NOT To Sweat ---The Small Stuff

Six years ago I was writing a book proposal on "the personal touch" and visited a local bookstore where one shelf was filled with copies of Don't Sweat The Small Stuff.. It occurred to me that paying attention to the details of life is important and that the old saying "the little things mean alot" rings true. So I wrote a chapter in the cafe of that bookstore that seemed to pour out of me. We need to pay attention to details as that makes projects, events, products and all of our relationships work better.

Since then, many events have occurred in the world, our country, my part of the world and in my life. And I haven't waivered. But it's a dichotomy in thought. We must have a larger picture/long view and, at the same time, remember Mies Van Der Roes philosophy, G-d is in the Details.

On Friday I spoke at a Writers Conference about my topics of working a room, connection and building relationships and gave tips and thoughts on the world of authorship and publishing. The introduction that I sent twice was not used. We professional speakers design our intros to purposefully introduce our first comments/stories. I took the time to customize it for the audience. The air conditioning did not work in a windowless classroom. I had to fan myself with one of the handouts...looking very much like the image of my mother during her awful hot flashes. But, everyone was doing the same so I felt okay with the fanning.

The attendees were a wonderful group of interested writers/authors and that was just so rewarding. But after my presentation, I spotted the agenda and everyone speakers photo accompanied their bio except mine and my friend, Craig. Needless to say, I was not pleased. I had emailed my photo also twice. After all, these are the details that we as presenters expect to have in place. It's Event Planning 101.

But then I left to visit with my very first friend I ever made in San Francisco. She is magnificent: statuesque, smart, full of humor and vitality, open-minded and so positive. She has been my cheerleader for many years. But something was awry in our last conversations. I noticed a few things that I didn't want to be true. In fact, over the last few years, there were some changes that I choose to excuse and ignore. No, there is nothing wrong with our friendship. That is as cemented as ever. On this day, when the details of a presentation were flubbed, when the "schvitz" factor of a meeting room's temperature had me looking like I was in a sauna, a bigger picture of life became undeniably apparent to me. My dear, wonderful friend has Alzheimer's which had been confirmed and diagnosed. She is still fun, sweet, upbeat and supportive but there is a reality of that disease that is ominous. Being with her warmed my heart and yet broke it.

I only hope that somewhere, in some lab at Genentech or Pfizer or UCSF or Johns Hopkins or Mass General, some doctors/scientists discover the cures we need for the diseases which ravage bodies and minds
of those who suffer and deteriorate.

Perspective can be punishing. But that larger picture looms of my dear friend and what will happen to her as this disease progresses. Yes, we need to pay attention to details and sweat the small stuff when we can but never lose sight of the larger picture and what's really important.

As I write this, I'm thrilled that there is not editor to cut my words, delete my thoughts. Three cheers for blogging and bringing to light those times and issues that come from the heart.

And yours? susan@susanroane.com Or post a comment

Comments

[T]

I am so sorry to read about your friend with Alzheimer's. In the interest of being helpful, has she or her family explored putting her on Aricept? If the disease is in its early stages, the drug has supposedly a good side effect in reversing Alzheimer's. I don't work for a pharmaceutical, but my ex did. I know there has been some contradictory reports, but if a drug could give some type of hope for normalcy, then, why not try it instead of doing nothing.

[Mary K]

I can understand how frustrating it must have been to be one of two presenters who lacked a bio and photo. The power of the internet is such that I am certain most attendees would have raced back to search and subscribe to your newsletter and blog and to review your books.
I am sorry to hear of your friend's condition. This is an opportunity to celebrate the here and now and to honor past accomplishments, because that truly is all we frail and feeble humans have.