Where do we get the idea that we can change someone's name? This baffles me as I have NEVER introduced myself as anything other than Susan. Yet, I have been called Sue, had emails addressed to Sue and have had books autographed to this mysterious Sue person when Susan is the only name I have written, uttered and to which I respond.

While it could be the informality of our society and our 'buddy' approach to life and work, I think it's something else. This was explained to me by an acquaintance who had attended a Ford Leadership program. Shortening someone's name is an act of "dimunition" that should not be met with silent approval.

Having written about introductions and how we address people both in How To Work a Room and in RoAne's Rules: How To Make The RIGHT Impression, here are a few tips.

Address people by the names they say. Never use a shortened version or nickname unless you are invited to do so. "Call me Dave." (instead of David).

Use full names...unless invited to use a first name "Call me Robert." (instead of Mr. Sachar).

Use a person's appropriate title: Mr., Ms., Reverend, Admiral, Dr., Senator, Mother Superior, Mayor unless you are invited to not use it. "Call me Anne." (instead of Dr. Jones).

As for how I handle the "shortened" saga, I smile and repeat my name: Susan. I recently received a lovely email from a colleague I didn't know who addressed me as Sue. I responded to his email, signed my name, Susan, and wrote in parens (not Sue). As one of my wise advisors suggested, "nip it in the bud".

In a world where we want to connect and be remembered positively, getting someone's name right is an important first step and one of respect And it's an easy one to take to make the RIGHT Impression.

Comments

[Vincent Ma]

Susan,

Great post. I posted a link to this article on my site. I hope you don't mind.

All the best,
Vince

[T.]

Not addressing me by the name that I just said, used to drive me crazy especially when I first moved to the US. Repeating my name over and over did not help. I think it took 2 years before I finally just let it go.